Fifteen Minutes of Fame…..

Posted: July 20, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Been out in the Real World for a while the past few days- unplugged and acoustic.  It’s pretty much the same Out There as I remember- people snarly in the grocery stores, ready to bite your damn hand off if you DARE reach for the avacado they’ve been eye-fucking for the last ten minutes.  Ya know, I just don’t want guacamole that bad.  You can feel the tension in Wal-Mart, the Supershrine built to honor my own personal god, Capitalism.  I love my hometown consumer cathedral- all the checkers know me, some are even friends.  But, you can feel it from them, too- that weird sort of pre-tornado vibe, like they’re all getting ready for SOMETHING but they’re not sure what it is.  I’m pretty sure I know what it’s NOT.

And that brings us to today’s lesson: DENIAL.  The storm that’s brewing Out There in the Real World is the undercurrent, the Common Denominator, that’s fueling alternative media these days.  Pouring napalm on that fire has been our old friend and compatriot, Drake Bailey.  I’ve discussed him extensively with the guys at the Critical Post (When do I get that damn parking spot, Scott?) and friends of mine that have been thrown off Global Voice’s Facebook page(I love you, Monika and Michael! Thanks for the book!) and we’ve come to the same basic conclusion: Da Fuck????

Believe it or not, Bailey is soaking his fifteen minutes of fame for every last second.  Remember that whole Yellow Light thing?  then the 72-hour notice thing? then the Green Light thing?….yeah, none of it ever happened.  I gotta hand it to ol’ Brother Bailey and his Possum Pizza eatin’ friend Rick Light (AKA Minuteman), they handled the whole Non-Event like pros: deflect, derail, deny. Sounds a Whole LOT like what we’ve already GOT, huh?  Not one word was mentioned of the Non Event.  That radio show following the alleged deadline was like listening to an hour of Connie Chung- boring, pedestrian, leaving you with the feeling like you ate something BAD but you weren’t quite sure WHAT because it tasted good at the time.  Bailey came on and pretty much READ the daily headlines, giving HIS take on the major news stories.  Puh-leeze.  Like anyone gives a shit what HIS take is? At least I’ll dress it up with a little conspiracy theory every now and then (yep, I’m ALL OVER the Colorado Shooter…).  The REAL conspiracy here is how Bailey amassed such a following in the FIRST place.  If you ever check out the Global Voice Facebook page you’ll come to one very basic realization.  It was people like THAT that allowed Mussolini to rise to power.  Sheep.  I, myself, conducted a little experiment to see how mind-fuckable they were.  I posted six or eight times in quick succession, using all of their “love and light” buzzwords while saying ABSOLUTELY NOTHING-and ended up with not only people telling me I knew what it was all about and the binary form of a shitload of high fives, but a dozen friend requests!

I laugh about it, but the truth is, it’s not even remotely humorous.  The die-hard followers that are still there in Bailey’s camp have the legal right to drive, vote and own firearms.  They have the ability to procreate and in some cases, ALREADY HAVE.  We should be afraid, friends, very afraid.  There’s a whole ‘nother generation out there encoded with the Stupid gene.  Beyond that, there’s the little matter of not being capable of independent thought.  Yes, I know- it’s no longer taught in American schools, but that serves as NO excuse.  THere is a segment of the population that has just CHOSEN not to care because it’s so much easier to focus on when ET’s gonna beam them up.  They are followers-and not even the GOOD kind.  If I were a General, I would not want these people under my command.  Sure, they take direction better than a trained sea otter, but what if I were to give a WRONG command?  A FAULTY command?  Blind allegiance would lead them straight into the line of fire and they would die, never having questioned my authority-all because I “knew what it was all about.”  Yep, scary, huh?  And while I see potential for REALLY BAD stuff to happen with followers like that, I gotta admit I’m sympathetic for about a minute.  It’s hard to be understanding when you know they’re just that FUCKIN’ STUPID. (Obviously, compassion-NOT my strong suit…).

The glow from Bailey’s messianic aura IS fading- and fading fast.  He’s managed to piss off a whole lot of people that were angry to begin with.  And yet, in spite of the fact that he’s been outed as a fraud and a charlatan, he maintains the charade with his cast of compadres: Possum Rick, Canada’s version of Tokyo Rose, and the apostles that have been with him since the “beginning.”  He continues this masquerade while even HE has got to know, one way or another it won’t end well.  Me?  Oh, I’m gonna stay on top of the story like a lumberjack on a ten dollar hooker.  There’s MORE to this- I just KNOW there is.  You really want to know what’s going on, you FOLLOW THE MONEY- and somewhere in the middle of this fucked up version of the New Testament SOMEBODY’S making bank.  You can bet on it….

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